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Love Online
by Suzon Walton
Looking for Love Online, Part I
 When
many single people look at their relationships (or lack
thereof), they often fall prey to feelings of depression
and loneliness. It is easy to look around, see all these
apparently happy couples, and forget that over 70 million
adults in the United States are single. Over one million
in the Sacramento area. There is nothing wrong with
being single, and many successful, attractive people
not only are, but choose to be, just that. However,
some people find themselves hampered in their attempts
to meet others. Perhaps they are shy or not particularly
verbally gifted. Almost everyone dislikes rejection
– it brings up fears of being unlovable or there being
something wrong with them.
For those who wish to find a partner, the world wide
web of dating bosts the promise of matching one with
an ideal mate with less possibility of personal rejection.
The fact that singles tend to be young, computer savvy,
and have disposable income. Thousands of sites have
sprung up promising to find your "soulmate" for only
a "reasonable monthly charge." Indeed, there are entire
networks of affiliated sites.
What do these services offer? Do they work?
Most of these services functions in a similar way. They
allow you to post and read messages from other "lonely
hearts in Sacramento" and hopefully find someone compatible.
In this way, these services are not too dissimilar from
traditional personal ads in newspapers except that using
the Internet can be quicker, cheaper and more convenient.
Many of the better services, such as Match.com, also
allow advanced searching, as well as the ability to
exchange e-mail anonymously until you have checked someone
out. There are even some non-profit organizations, such
as personals free personals , that offer similar features
for free. Such free services are well worth a try if
you are uncertain about online dating.
The Internet allows you to meet a wide variety of people
— (unfortunately this can also include a hormone-crazed,
10-year old boy using his parents’ computer). If you
are part of a subgroup, online can be a particularly
great way to meet like-minded individuals, especially
in the greater Sacramento area. Long distance relationships
blossom on the internet, but you now have a choice.
Local searches, available to anyone with a an internet
connection.
Requesting a picture is not a bad idea. Resist the temptation
to be less than truthful. Your goal should be quality
not quantity. Try to write something that will make
you be unique. Also, be descriptive and candid about
what you are looking for. While browsing and reading
responses to your ad, remember that not everyone else
is as honest as you. In particular, almost everyone
lies at least a little bit about appearance. Also remember
that, although things are changing, there are many,
many more men looking for partners on the Internet than
women. This is not to say that as a man you cannot be
successful, but you will certainly have more competition.
Women are more likely to find many options to pick and
choose from.
So, what happens after you meet a likely candidate?
A good way to begin is by exchanging e-mail. If the
service you are using supports anonymous re-sending,
by all means use it. Remember to not give out too much
personal information, such as your real name or telephone
number. In addition, some services, such as Friend Finders
, offer real time chat. This can be a great way to practice
and hone your flirting skills in a setting where physical
appearance, for instance, is less important.
Okay, so everything seems great and you have decided
that it is time for a meeting face-to-face, here are
some suggestions: 1) meet in a public location with
other people around; 2) let a friend know where you
are going; 3) keep the first meeting short with an easy
way to bow out if needed.4. Don't let your human resource
manager read this story. She might meet a man online
and move to New Jersey in a split second.
I do wish her all the best. She met a man across the
country and now is working for Subaru. Now who is going
to do the hiring? Good luck out there. Here is a few
dating services that can match you locally...and can
get you or your cousin Fred started.
www.match.com
www.americansingles.com
www.singles.org
www.eharmony.com
www.udate.com
www.dreammates.com
www.lavalife.com
personals.yahoo.com
You may contact Suzon Walton at
suzon@connectednow.com
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